Self-expression

Arm over head

Swing it down by my side

Kick a leg into the air

Rotate hips in lopsided circle

Flatten hands and windmill arms as if generating hydroelectricity

Fly hair around face

Let head hang and sway like tree in storm

Take off sweatshirt

Do a pirouette like ballet class

I was never good at ballet class

But man can I pirouette

Although to be truthful

When I watched myself in the relentless mirrors

Of ballet class my pirouettes were leany

They leaned

And they were uncontrolled

They were very dizzy and a little unhinged

So objectively, no my pirouettes were not good

But the spirit of a pirouette. I have seized the spirit of a pirouette

I am whirling it around with me and it is having the time of its life

And then I leap into the air

And the spirit of the pirouette is flung to the ceiling

And I am dancing.

I don’t need to dance like no one is watching

Because no one is watching.

Only sometimes me

I catch myself reflected in the window

A glowing, double-outlined blur of dancing

I look mad.

Sometimes I have to rewrite a sentence five times before I can move onto the next

Sometimes I get halfway through Claire de Lune and I give up

Because it feels so stunted

Sometimes I think of a message I could send to a friend

And then I don’t

Because it might not come out right

But I am so bad at dancing

That I have become perfect at it.

Both arms in air

Jump

Bend knees and shimmy

Another pirouette

Sway for slow part

Move whole body at once

Convulsion of ecstasy

Heedless and without grace.

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One thought on “Self-expression

  1. Brilliant and funny!! Rings so true – I laughed out loud. Thanks for posting this…keep writing….:)

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